Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
3 2 1 whiskey
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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