wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize