My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Sober January is a disaster.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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