Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
