**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize