if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
ttyl tear gas
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
