Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
