I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
