I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
