she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize