all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
