Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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