btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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