Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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