My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize