ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
