I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Why are your pants in the freezer?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
