At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
