Already got asked if we're dating
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
nutella sex= disaster
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
