I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
