just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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