No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
