Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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