He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
