your thong is hanging out like whoa
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
My Sexting was not on an AP level
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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