OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
