Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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