There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
