whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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