would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
pop tarts are not kleenex
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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