so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
