Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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