no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
operation harelip BJ is a go
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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