I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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