Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Boobs speak an international language.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I can't put those talents on a resume
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
