I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
