we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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