My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
