just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize