she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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