The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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