I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
