Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
