We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
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