Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Randomize
