Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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