and you said cock pushups were impossible
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
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