She told me I should be a condom model.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
