Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
