hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
