I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
