Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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