Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
