She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
