You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
