ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
