You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
