Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
