Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize