Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
