If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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