I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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