I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
