Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
