I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize