Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
