I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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