Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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