so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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