You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
