dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
