I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
