Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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