wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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