I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
